via Toothpaste for Dinner

This kid is my hero. (note for my mom who is the only person i know is going to read this: YOLO stands for "You only live once.")

Camera Phones

MOM: On the iphone, there is an icon that’s a little blue circle with a camera in it. What is it for?
ME: That’s your phone’s camera.
MOM: WHAT???????
MOM: This is AMAZING!!!!
MOM: I bet this is why they call them camera phones!
ME: Hahaha, yes! Why did you think they called them that?
MOM: Because they are the size of a small camera!

via When Parents Text

the role of the critic

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy: we risk very little, but enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and themselves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that‘s in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. [...] Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere ...”

--Anton Ego, Ratatouille

The discovery of the new and the great is my favorite part of working in comedy. But you want people to be as positively affected by how much you like them as they seem to be when they think you don't like them. I think it's hard for some people to take compliments because either they think you're just being polite or they felt entitled to them all along and are only just finally getting what they deserved. Every part of the entertainment industry feels thankless sometimes because there is so much ego that everyone wants to be recognized more than anybody can possibly recognize you.

on the eve of my first open mic

I'm doing my first open mic tonight. It doesn't feel like a momentous occasion because I've done stand-up a couple times as well as Moth stuff, improv, etc. But it feels like an open acknowledgement that here I am, trying, and trying not to worry about what people think of me. And maybe I won't end up doing it a ton more after this, but at the moment, it was something I wanted to try.

I spent a lot of time not doing stand-up because I was worried about what people would think. I don't want to be a booker who uses his/her connections to advance her own career. I don't like the idea of being judged by comics who I've had to turn down for various things. I know I'm going to suck for a while and I'm okay with that, but I don't like the fact that people are going to watch this set and be like, "She's not funny. Why does she get to decide whether I'm funny or not?" I feel like I've spent my whole life caring way too much about what other people think and trying to look like I don't care when I miss being the kind of person who cared HARD about stuff, who tried hard, who was okay being the girl who auditioned for every Hunter play and OTI 8 times and didn't get called back.

The fact of the matter is that I'm 25 and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I legit bought a book called "What should I do with my life?" from a used book store and guess what? It did not have any answers. (Okay, I only read the first 20 pages, but I'm pretty sure the end is not going to be like "Sachi, you are supposed to be an accountant.") When I first graduated, all I knew is I wanted to be near comedy and I was so lucky to get internships and jobs that allowed me to do that. But now I feel like I'm supposed to be making more specific decisions. I still don't know if I want to be a performer or a writer or a producer or a director or a network executive and I'm not going to cross things off until I know for sure that they're not for me. So this is going to be my year of trying stuff. I refuse to settle into the most comfortable and easiest path just because I'm scared of being judged. SO GO AHEAD AND JUDGE ME, YOU JUDGE DREDDS AND JUDGE JUDYS. or the more likely scenario: most people are too worried about their own selves to spend time sitting around judging me and it is self-involved of me to think anybody even cares about whether i try some shit out.

I'll probably be back here tomorrow like "never mind, i give up" but for now, I'm trying to keep spirits alive. #yearofpenny

a reminder to myself to TAKE THIS ADVICE

Love this advice from Erin Foster on Hello Giggles... She is talking about weddings when you're single, but it works no matter how you're comparing yourselves to others:

"Someone else’s story always dictates how you feel about your own... We compare ourselves so much to everyone else and basically live in fear that we’re either missing out on something better or being left behind.... We’re either using someone else’s life to pick it apart and make ours seem better, or propping it up on a pedestal to make us feel inadequate...

"Get your eyes off their plate. No one gets to decide if your life is good or if you are where you were supposed to be at this age. As long as you’re still curious about things and willing to evolve a little, make an adjustment on yourself here and there, you’ll be fine. So, they’re getting married. Or having a baby. Or crazy in love. Well, then it’s their turn to have that, and it’s not taking away anything from you or speeding up any imaginary timeline you’ve decided for yourself. You put it there without reason and you can take it away too. No one else’s story has anything to do with your own."