what i lack in patriotism i make up for in irony

I didn't take this, but let's just pretend I did.

Went out to Queens to watch the fireworks with friends yesterday. Within the past week, I had had two conversations (one with my friend Alex and one with my stepdad) about how America's kind of fucked (I am using kind of in the way I often do to mean really). So I suppose some of this sentiment was still bubbling up within me when I turn to my friend on a very public and crowded pier and say: "I suppose this almost makes up for the war on Iraq."

Other things my obnoxious over-educated friends and I said during the 4th of July Fireworks (and may I remind you we were SURROUNDED by people):
Eric: OOOOOHH! AAAAAAHH! EEEEEEEEE!! OHHHHHHH! AYYYYYY!

Nick: This all kind of reminds me of the Egyptian myth of creation in which that god ejaculates.

Haruko: Is anyone else getting really turned on by this?
Me: I'm pretty sure Eric has had a constant erection throughout the whole thing.
Teddy: I really wish I weren't standing in front of him for this.

Me (being a spoken word poet): Independence Day/More like Dependence Day/Dependence on oil/Makes my blood boil/So while the fireworks are flying/People are crying/And dying...
Teddy: Are you making this up as you go?

Eric (guessing which color will be next): Red! Yellow! White! Red! Blue! Blue! I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Nick: So I'm thinking of working at an NGO...
Me: In the words of Jimmy Eat World, Nick, "Just watch the fireworks."
Haruko: "Here... you can be anything..."

Eric: (to a stranger, supposedly attempting to be under his breath) Put your umbrella down, you stupid whore!!
::Woman puts her umbrella down::
Eric: Oh, fuck, she heard me (He ducks down.) I'm so sorry. You can put your umbrella back, ma'am.

Eric & Haruko: USA! USA!
Nick: UAE! UAE!
Katie: USSR!

Me: This can't be good for the environment.

Despite the fact that we are all assholes who can't appreciate beauty, we managed to have a pretty good time. Eric & Teddy had been there for hours and hours with a Nalgene of wine and a jar of peanut butter mixed with jam. Afterwards, Eric and I shared a bucket of wings at a BBQ/sushi place with "LIVE AMERICAN MUSIC" and pitchers of Bud Light. (Spencer would want me to say we drank Buds Light.) So I guess we kind of had an "America FUCK YEAH!" night anyway, despite our attempts towards detachment and ruining other people's nights. God bless us, everyone.