i do not want to sit inside all night long working on my thesis. but at the moment that seems inevitable. at least for the next few weeks. as lovely as my bed is, if i stayed in it all the time, i would be restless to the max.
also, this bitter cold is stupid. someone should tell it that it is not wanted here.
i just watched thin, an hbo documentary about anorexia, for my wgs class. and although it was mind-numbingly depressing and painful, i spent a lot of the time thinking about how one of the women looked like amy sedaris and also how i wanted to paint my fingernails blue.
should i feel guilty about this?? sometimes the world is too much to bear and it's better just to paint your nails blue and enjoy that.
an addendum: i realize this sounds incredibly blasé, so I will clarify: When the movie ended, I felt a feeling I haven't felt since femsex. Where I wanted like a hug or someone to process the movie for me, but instead, the lights just came up and I was in a room full of strangers and had to put on my scarf and act like we had just watched something normal like a youtube clip. So then I went to CVS and bought valentines and blue nail polish and then made cinnamon toast. I suppose the point is that no matter how shitty the world seems sometimes, you can't be debilitated by it, right? there is some middle ground between ignoring the problems in the world and being incapacitated by them.
ugh, i feel emo. like i'm 15 and just read the belljar for the first time.
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