So yesterday was a super exciting day. The Lampoon, a semi-secret Sorrento- blahblahblah thisain'tthemotherfuckincrimson... had Paris Hilton come receive their Woman of the Year award, which I'm pretty sure is just a fake award just created to lure her to their little castle.
Anyways, while sitting in the Women's Center reading about anorexia in Victorian England, I received a text from Rachel "ooooogirlcansing" Flynn, saying "Please tell me I'm not the only one waiting for Paris Hilton outside the Lampoon." Oh my, thought I. How could I have forgotten this momentous occasion? So I tossed the book back on the shelf quicker than you can say "body dismorphia," and jetted off to Mt. Aubizzle St.
The place was crawling with A-list campus celebrities, but no sign of Paris. Every car that drove by, from limos to dump trucks, we surmised could be hers. Every blonde suddenly seemed suspicious. We even hypothesized that perhaps Sam Teller has always been Paris in disguise. We got interviewed by a couple local news sources....
FINALLY, at 2:15, her van pulled up and I got the best camera phone picture of her ever. She really did not have very much security detail. I honestly think I could have tackled her Borat-style and made her my wife. It is, after all, Massachusetts.
A quote from the goddess herself: "I'm literally so excited to be here."
If you'd like to see her (and me :D), check out this video.
I think I have discovered my true calling as a paparazzo, which Schmoli informs me is Italian for mosquito.
Photos to come once I can figure out how to move them from my phone to my computer. Did you know that you can't just throw one at the other? That seems inconvenient.
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