the importance of having eyebrows

Recently, I think I am more shallow. Or else more irritable. I have been struck by a phenomenon in which I get annoyed because people are weird-looking. Like I can't look at them. Here are three people whose faces I don't like looking at.


Charlotte Staples Lewis from Lost Where are her eyebrows?


Harper from Lost She looks like one of the vampires from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her eyebrows are like way up in the air and she was one of those little bumps on her face covered by concealer that Sarah Jessica Parker has. How distracting is it when you're trying to learn about orgasms, relationships, and life in the big city and all you can see is SJP's moley thing? (This is where it's important to imagine me typing the end of that question SATC style.)


Anya from America's Next Top Model Again, with the no eyebrows. She looks like albino Celine Dion with medusa eyes and some kind of elvis lip problem. I can't find a non-posed picture of her but she is even scarier when she's just standing around. Like some kind of horrible little nymph who'll steal your soul.

Moral of the story: Have eyebrows. Normal ones. That is all.